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2008 January 13
12:31 am - I have died in a blogging accident
sorry guess that means no more posts forever :(
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2007 December 09
12:20 pm - sometimes I wanna yell
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!
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2007 December 08
10:58 am - Speed Racer Trailer
When I first heard the matrix guys were directing a movie based on the old speed racer cartoon I was sure it would either be the best or the worst movie ever made.
I am now sure it will be both.
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2007 November 22
01:41 am - Livejournal names
First it was Ramblings From the Dessert Cart and now it's Last Chance Hot Dogs Before Death. I'm thinking about changing it to Hotel Tango Tango Papa Sierra because I want as few people to get what the reference is as possible and with that I'm down to like 12.
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2007 November 02
10:46 am - Tech Support
<Redlof> crosma: are you able to view the login page?
<Crosma> For what, Redlog?
<Redlof> when you open your browser, does it load our login page?
( Chat logs... )
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2007 October 03
07:34 pm - FLIP-FLOP: A game to play with your friends!
For up to two players!
Requirements:
One game board
(Click for full version)
Two coins labeled "set" and "reset"
 
Rules:
One player is Q and the other player is Q-not. Players take turns one at a time, and during each turn the player must flip both the set and the reset coin. Both set and reset are active on tails. If the set coin is tails, then the player moves ahead one space. If the reset coin it tails then the players must go back to start. If neither coin is tales then there is no change.
The Q-not player must always have the opposite position of the Q player, and vice versa.
The purple area is 7400
The clock is activated when a player goes from a low score to a high score.
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2007 September 01
08:44 pm - Identify all these quotes win a prize
This ain't no Internet, kid. You aren't going to clickity click your mouse out of this one.
Now some people may find you strange, but not me. I respect that.
Yeah well he can push the button labeled "go eat a sack of crap"
Air Jerky™ follows the scientifically proven Flavor Principle™ and follows the path of least resistance--to your mouth!
This is an Invention Machine. Inventors use it to Invent things
Hey bro, I gotta go. Let me through I gotta go number two.
And who can blame them? They walk through asphalt cemeteries. The fashion zombies, they must have been born that way
It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. All this pressure to be bright. I got children all over town!
I don't need this. My husband has two jobs!
Nonsense. They're bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.
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2007 August 12
06:36 pm - Chili Dog Video Blog
I didn't actually intend to create this but I had a hot dog and there was already a camera set up in my room and it just kind of happened.
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2007 August 07
03:57 pm - Video Blog
Done at the request of my sister.
Not posted to the forums because it's not funny.
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2007 August 02
10:14 pm - Burger King
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2007 July 07
2007 July 03
01:43 pm - Mr. Osthimer Adventures Part: 4
Mr. Osthimer had just been released from jail for the jillionth time. He was tired of this. He was tired of get arrested all the time for no good reason. Mr. Osthimer was a young African-American and all the cops in town were white. To him it was obvious why they kept sending him to jail. They were all gays. It was the damn gays, always out to get him.
Jeff "Lesbian Gimp" Osthimer was now sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that the gay mafia was out to get him. He knew it was only a matter of time before they put a hit on him so Mr. Osthimer acted fast. He saw a cop on a motorcycle stopped at a red light so he ran over and knocked the cop right to the ground. Mr. Osthimer demanded to know what the cop's connections to the gay mafia were. Apparently cops don't like it when you do that because pretty soon a bunch of other cops showed up and started shooting at Mr. Osthimer. Mr. Osthimer knew he had to get out of there fast, so he jumped on the police motorcycle (the one he knocked the cop off of) and sped off.
Obviously this conspiracy was BIG. The gays controlled the police and probably the entire world. Mr. Osthimer knew he had to do something drastic to stop this, so he rode his motorcycle to the airport. Along the way a bunch of cop cars chased him and tried to knock him off the road but he evaded them with ease.
There were a bunch of airplanes at the airport, but they were all too sissy looking for a bad ass like Mr. Osthimer to make his last stand in, so he stole a helicopter and flew over to the nearby naval base where an aircraft carrier was docked. He landed on the air craft carrier but to his surprise instead of the gay mafia, the gay FBI was there waiting for him! Mr. Osthimer took them all out with his ak-47 before he saw the object he came there for: A military fighter jet.
Mr. Osthimer climbed into the fighter jet and took off. He had no problems figuring out how to fly it even though the instructions were only on the screen for like half a second. He took off at super sonic speed and headed off toward the gay side of town. (You know what I'm talking about. It's that neighbor hood where all the buildings are purple and there's rainbow flags everywhere. I think it's right by china town.)
Anyway, Mr. Osthimer was flying his super fighter jet to the gay side of town faster than the speed of light when all of the sudden BOGIES ON HIS SIX (that's army talk for enemy planes right behind him) it was obviously the gay armada guarding the gay motherland. Mr. Osthimer tried to shoot the enemy planes down but there were just too many of them. He decided to go down fighting. He shot missile after missile at the ground, in a desperate attempt to hold off the gay invasion. No matter how many missiles he fired he never ran out of ammo, and there's a simple explanation for this. God loved him. Eventually his plane took all the damage it could handle and crashed to the ground.
Mr. Osthimer died doing what he loved, screaming the lyrics to Freebird while trying to destroy everything and everyone he hated. It is for this reason that we honor him on this day every year for his rampage against the gays.
GOD BLESS MR. OSTHIMER.
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2007 June 14
06:28 pm - stunted prose #1
I am debating
whether or not I should eat
and it's a fight I can't win
because I am getting progressively hungrier
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2007 May 31
08:58 pm - Sexy 64 - All Guys Gaming League
Guys play video games too!
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2007 May 19
11:05 pm - FACT
food cooked in a gas oven doesn't have that strange electric taste
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2007 April 28
2007 April 07
2007 March 31
03:06 pm - Red Wells Roast Beef
Red Wells is a restaurant on Sylvania, near the five point intersection.
It's a cafeteria style restaurant, kind of like Rudy's, except Red Wells only sells roast beef.
Their roast beef sandwich is pretty good, although it's kind of cheap. Their chili is excellent. The apple pie is good.
The mash potatoes are mediocre. Don't get those.
Everything is really unhealthy. They don't have much variety in their menu.
The atmosphere is really great. It's a quiet, clean place with good decoration.
It'd be a good place to hide out.
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2007 March 30
09:34 pm - spring cleaning
If anyone's had a strange desire to hang out in my bedroom, now is the time, because it's as dust and dog hair free as it's going to be for a long time.
Also I've got a lot of extra stuff I'm going to throw out unless someone wants to take any of it. I'm not going to list anything so you'll use your imagination as to what mysterious wonders of the universe I have in my possession.
Also is it just me or are my sentences getting less coherent lately? It seems like they're too wordy and are plod to read through.
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08:50 am - Wait a minute...
I've seen that canteen somewhere before!
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